Weiss Cube
by Nuc-Fallout
Summary: Weiss thinks she's a Rapper. Crackfic oneshot Rated T for language


**Straight outta Beacon, Crazy motherfucka named Weiss Cube. From the gang called Rich Girlz with Attitudes**

**Im back from a sunny vacation with a short one shot featuring a brain damaged Weiss and A rap battle Courtesy of The_Draigg, I'll leave a link to his profile on mine. I encourage everyone who reads this to go check him out, He makes amazing content and if you tell him Baconchedder sent you absolutly nothing will happen.**

**Disclamer: This story is just for jokes. Weiss will be speaking in the most steryotypical "hood slang" possible. I apoligize if this offends anyone. Also i dont own RWBY or anything else.**

**I've listened to several hours of gangsta rap and feel i can acuratly represent what a rich white girl would act like while pretending to be Gangsta. Tell me what you think (aside from mildly racist)**

Weiss woke up on the floor

"Damn, what the hell happened Ruby?" Asked Weiss Groggily

"Umm what? are you okay?" Asked Ruby.

" Im feelin fresh Homie, Why?" Asked the Heiress

"well its just, you hit your head and now your acting weird." Responded Yang.

"Weird? You beefin?" Shouted Weiss.

"What?" Asked Yang.

"Your right. I shouldn't be attackin my homies. Show me some love." Weiss Reached out with her arm as she said this and reached around yang's shoulder and patted her back.

"What's going on Ice Queen? are you okay" asked Ruby.

"Hey you dissin me? you know im Weiss Cube." said the crazy Schnee.

"What are you talkin about?" Blake asked.

"You know, Dissin. When you insult a N****" Responded Weiss as she changed out of her regular clothes and into a baggy hoodie and lowrider jeans.

"Umm Weiss, that's a little racist..." said Yang.

"What?" asked Weiss as she put on several gold chains.

"you just said one of the most offensive words out there..."

"nah you be trippin" said Weiss with a wave of her hand. before anyone could say anything about the Heiress' new lingo or sudden change of clothes there was a knock at the door. Weiss produced a glock from somewhere in her hoodie and pointed it at the door as she slowly crept towards it.

Jaune, unfortunately was at the door with his guitar and when Weiss opened the door he felt the cold steel against his jaw with Weiss 'all up in his grill'

"Wha'chu want Blondie?" Shouted Weiss.

"I just want to sing you a song." Stammered Jaune. He strummed a chord and Weiss became suddenly enraged.

"You beefin N****!?" she screamed.

"woah Weiss Where did that come from?" asked Jaune Nervously.

"Blake, Drop me some funky fresh beats, im bout ta teach this mothafuckin fool some fuckin respect!" Yelled weiss.

Blake sighed and produced a set of turntables from under her bed.

[Disk scratches]

"Yo, I'm Weiss Schnee, the queen of dust.

I don't wanna rap, but I will if I must.

You comin' in here, making a show,

But you're dealing with ME, don't you know?

I can burn you to a crisp, and freeze with ice.

You must be trippin' if you thought twice.

I make the team, and I'm the best.

You're just down there with the rest.

I'm smart, educated, and I read too.

I'm so smart, you wouldn't know what to do!

So, let me say it, maybe once or twice.

When you mess with me, you mess with the queen of ice!"

"Uhh... what?"

"Now, hold on a minute!"

"Ren?!"

"You think you're high and mighty with what you said?

If it wasn't for your team, you'd be dead!

Those glyphs, bitch, please!

They're about as useful as a disease.

I got the dead eye, the one shot, the steel I pack.

I drop fools with a click-click-clack!

I punched a snake to death, didn't you hear?

Oh right, you pissed yourself in fear!

All that dust is just a crutch.

All that talk, and it ain't worth much.

So you think you're the best, keep thinking that then.

Just know that the real OG around here is named Lie Ren."

"Seriously, what's going on?"

"Lie Ren, the loser, named after a flower.

I should tell you this isn't your hour.

But now you called down the thunder, that's right bitch.

I'm ready for a fight, and I'm gonna scratch that itch!

Really? Guns? That ain't new.

All your attacks are just a few.

I can stab, shock, burn, gravity warp too.

I bet you can't do half of that, foo!

You stand there, proud, don't make me laugh!

On initiation day, you lost your own path!

Nora's the one pulling the weight there.

Yet again, having her is only fair.

You're useless, washed up, a toy to Grimm.

If there's an Ursa, you're a bitch to him!

I'm the face of the battle, the head of the scene.

That's what you get when you're near the dust queen."

"Okay, now I'm confused."

"Dust queen? Pssh, now I'll decide.

And for you, bitch, it's fuckin' regicide!

Nora's my girl, that's a fact.

You can always bet she's got my back.

But, really Weiss, let's be real.

I'm the one who really appeals.

I bust caps and I take names.

Compared to you, you're just a shame!

You need dust, that's your game.

But against my fists, that's just lame!

I can lift a mountain and drink a lake.

You can call me the god damn Eastern Drake!

Now little girl, run to your room.

'Cause I'm Lie Ren, and my rhymes go BOOM!"

"I seriously regret coming here."

Team RWBY and The rest of JNPR were just staring at Weiss and Ren. Suddenly as though lightning had struck Ren and Weiss had glocks to eachothers throats.

Both teams were forced to drag their 'homies' back to the dorms.

"Man fuck Ren, Lets go put a cap in his ass. Ruby go get my impala." said Weiss as she threw the younger girl a set of keys.

...

Ruby ran down to the garage and sure enough there was a 64' Chevrolet impala exactly where Weiss had said. Ruby drove it up the elevator and drove it into the hallway near their door, it was a tight fit. Weiss hopped in and tossed blake an AK-47

"OKAY! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS!?" screamed Blake.

"Just get in and quit trippin."

"So what exactly are we doing?" asked Ruby.

"Your going to drive down the hallway and Blake and I are going to cap those bustas" Weiss expalined.

Ruby and Blake sighed and ruby drove down the hallway as Weiss fired her 'gat' at the wall to the JNPR dorm and as Ruby stopped the car from driving out the window Weiss grabbed the AK from Blake and started firing at the door. when she ran out of ammo Jaune opened the door and said

"Ummm Weiss... Could you stop shooting at our dorm. its very annoying."

Oh shit, Floor it ruby." Ordered Weiss. Ruby slammed on the gas and sent them flying out the window. Blake and Ruby jumped out of the car and grabbed on to the ledge about three floors below as Weiss crashed towards the ground several stories below.

Once Ruby and Blake were back inside the building they ran down to where Weiss was laying in the bushes several feet from the wrecked car.

"Uhhhhh Where am I? and Why am i wearing these clothes?" said Weiss groggily.

"don't you remember, you drove the Impala off of the building. I saved you." explained Ruby.

"impala? that car? Why am i dressed like this?"

"She doesnt remember" Whispered Blake to Ruby

" umm i dont actually know." was Rubys best explanation to the incdent that had just transpired.

"Im going to get changed." Said weiss as she walked back to the dorm. Blake looked to Ruby and they silently agreed never to let Weiss know what had happened.

**and there you have it. one crackfic from the depths of my mind. The cover image for this was drawn by /u/-Falcyon- i'll drop a link to his profile as well. **

**Once again a very special thanks to The_Draigg for the rap battle, i never would have been able to write it myself.**


End file.
